


Broken

by drizzlemesane



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Bumbleby - Freeform, Chapter 11 spoilers, Depression, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, POV First Person, Volume 3 Spoilers, Which I've literally never written a story in, Whiterose if you squint, so this could be awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 18:31:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5938684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drizzlemesane/pseuds/drizzlemesane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Team RWBY deals with the aftermath.  Yang in particular is stuck in a deep depression thanks to the fight.  Can anything - or anyone - pull her out of it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Vague summary is vague to avoid spoilers, lol. It's almost 2 a.m. and I have a lot of feelings and they pretty much just spilled out of me as this one-shot. I barely edited (I'll probably go back and do more once it's less ...fresh); just wanted to get it written and posted.
> 
> Beware of terrible, awful puns ahead. It's how the FNDM deals with pain, obviously. Oh, and that I seriously can't write in first person, turns out. Kept mixing up tenses and crap and ugh. Though I don't know, it kinda works being all over the place, considering Yang's disjointed mental state? But, uh, enjoy I guess.

The fight was over.  We all survived, if only by the skin of our teeth.  But we certainly didn't make it out unscathed.  We were broken, all in different ways.

My sister and Weiss fared the best - not that that was saying much.

Weiss, we all reassured her, had done her part and then some.  She'd put her own life on the line to save Velvet (Blake was proud of how far she'd come since we'd all first met - prejudiced against the Faunus, even if she wasn't as openly hostile as people like Cardin.  But now?  She put herself right between a Faunus and what could easily have been a death blow).  She managed to Summon something at exactly the right time.  She saved countless lives with all of the White Fang and androids she'd taken down.

But for Weiss, ever the perfectionist, it wasn't good enough.  Once everything was more or less settled again, she threw herself into perfecting Summoning; into increasing her endurance.  She was convinced she could have single-handedly (hah, get it?) stopped a lot of bad things from happening if conjuring up that arm hadn't taken so much out of her.  If she could have kept fighting.

The irony of Weiss summoning just an arm wasn't lost on me.  Heh, uptight heiress probably doesn't even think I know the meaning of irony.

Ruby, well.  Her usual constant smiles took a little while to come back.  It was weird seeing her as anything other than my rambunctious, even sometimes annoyingly chipper little sis.  She was still in pieces (I'm awful, I know) about Penny's death.  Destruction.  Whatever we're calling it.  Penny's body was lost during the fighting.  Ironwood had soldiers searching every day, but the hope of her being rebuilt was getting slimmer every day.  Ruby felt her own guilt, too.  She thought if she hadn't run off to fight Torchwick, things might have gone differently ("If you hadn't crashed the ship you wouldn't have stopped the Knights and Paladins," Weiss reminded her constantly).  She thought if she'd been faster she could have saved Penny.  Or if she could have been smarter, she could have figured out Cinder's plot sooner and even stopped me from being framed.

She was getting better every day, though (Weiss too.  They supported each other like partners should.  I know they'll be fine, even if it takes a while).  She'd actually teamed up with Ironwood and some Atlas nerds to build me a new arm.  I didn't know if it was guilt or just her love of all things mechanical that made her so adamant about building it for me, but I wasn't going to stop her.  It was good for her to have something to focus on - even if seeing the schematics on her desk reminded me constantly of the empty space where my arm used to be.

Should be.  I know one day in the future I'll accept it.  That I'll even love having a robot arm, especially one with all the gadgets Ruby's sure to add to it.

But that day seems impossibly far off.  
  
Anyway.  Enough about me for now.  Ruby and Weiss?  At least they had each other.  Ruby made her partner take breaks when she was clearly pushing too hard.  Brought dinner back to the dorms for her and - with surprising gentleness - woke her up long enough to eat when she fell asleep before making it to the dining hall.

Weiss did similar things for Ruby.  Carried her to bed - her own bunk, since the tiny girl didn't have the strength to get my sister into the top bunk - when she fell asleep, face down on the desk, drooling on her (my?) schematics.  Blake and I were shocked the first time it happened, since instead of taking Ruby's bunk, the heiress actually cuddled up with my sister.  Hell, Weiss seemed surprised herself.  She'd seen us looking and immediately turned a bright red.  "I'm just...being the best teammate I can like I promised," she'd whispered.  "She's in a precarious mental state and may need comfort in the night."

Since I wasn't up for it, Blake had stepped in to tease Weiss about maybe needing comfort, too.  Her heart wasn't in it.  Mine wouldn't be, either.

Guilt was a common theme for Team RWBY.  No one carried more of it than Blake.  We all tried to assure her it wasn't her fault (though it was mostly Ruby and Weiss.  I wasn't up for talking much lately).  That it was all Adam's.  That it could have been worse.  If anything, our arguments seemed to make Blake feel guiltier.  Maybe because Adam was her old partner.  Maybe because I could have died instead of just losing an arm, and she couldn't have stopped it.  I don't know.

That leaves everybody but me.

I managed a couple hand-related puns a few times.  Enough to make my team think I'm my usual self (pfft, yeah.  Like I could fool them.  It's a nice lie, though).  Some days, anyway.  Most days I can't be bothered.

I'm not taking care of my partner like I should be.  Not like Ruby and Weiss are doing for each other.  I just can't.  I can't even get myself out of bed most days.  Not when every single action reminds me what happened.  Sometimes, especially when I'm half-asleep, I can pretend there's still a whole arm laying on the mattress.  I can pretend that I'm not half the fighter I used to be or might never be again.

It almost physically hurts when Ruby hugs me nowadays.  Knowing I can't do the same.  Well, not the way I used to.  Those bone-crushing bear hugs that made her go red from embarrassment or lack of air; I was never too sure on that.  I know I'll have a replacement soon.  It'll probably even make me stronger than before.  But it won't be the same.  I'll never get back what I lost.

So here I am, another super fun day with my super fun thoughts.  
  
Blake and I are alone in the dorm.  Ruby and Weiss are sparring - otherwise known as Ruby's making sure Weiss doesn't pass out in a training room again.  It's summer break but a bunch of kids are still at Beacon, most because they lost their families during the attack.  Professor Goodwitch was nice enough to leave the school open for the whole summer for anyone that couldn't - or didn't want to - leave.  There weren't any classes, but the library, kitchens, and medical bay were still staffed.

Weiss, in a surprising show of defiance, stood up to her father and refused to leave.  After ignoring his calls for a couple days straight he actually showed up at the school.  She still wouldn't budge, saying Weiss-y stuff like the proper thing to do was to show loyalty to her team.  To show the world that a Schnee wasn't scared and wouldn't abandon the half-demolished Vale for the safety of her home.  Amazingly, it worked.  Her dad backed off and "allowed" her to stay with us.  Personally, I don't think every Paladin in Remnant could have dragged her away, daddy's permission or no.

Ruby and I are staying, too.  Our dad came to visit a couple days after everything ended, but with all the Grimm still running around, he was too busy to stick around or bring us back to Patch.  We understood.  It was his job.  The same job we'd dedicated ourselves to.

My partner?  Well, she had no home to go to.

I'm laying in Blake's bed.  If I wanted to, I could still pull myself up to mine with one arm.  I just don't have the energy.  My partner's above me, nose buried in a book, probably.

I'm staring at the bottom of my old bunk while my stomach growls bloody murder at me.  I ate yesterday, I think?  Whatever.  If I can't ignore it anymore I'll go and get something.  Like usual.

I think about trying to start a conversation with Blake.  Seems like the last time I said anything out loud was around the last time I ate.  What to talk about, though?  The fact that I could still feel the ghost of my arm sometimes, or the pain I felt when I lost it?  How I'm worried I can never be a great Huntress now?  How I'm an idiot and I brought this on myself because of my stupid, _stupid_ fighting style that I need to completely revamp if I do fight again?

Yeah, great topics to bring up with the girl who blames herself.

Well, that's an idea, I guess.  I've been beating myself up about not helping her constantly.  Maybe I should at least try to do something about that.  Better start small, though.  Can't jump right into it.

"Hey Blake?"

No response.  I know she's awake - I can still hear the quiet turn of a page every few minutes.

"Nice weather today, yeah?"  Like I would know.  I haven't been outside in days.  Still no response.  Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.  "Cat got your tongue?"

Bingo.  I hear my partner heave a deep sigh before sticking her head over the edge of the bed and looking down at me.  "Really, Yang?"

I flash her a grin.  It feels fake, and I'm sure it looks it, too.  But I'm trying.  "Hey, got your attention, didn't I?"

"Do you need something?"

"I just, uh, wanted to talk?"  This is going really well.

"About what?"  Between Blake's succinct phrases and the - annoyed?  Sad?  Angry?  It's hard to tell with her, most of the time - look, I'm starting to regret speaking at all.

"About, well."  I sigh.  Screw it.  I've never been a beat around the bush type.  "About you."

"What about me?"  Blake at least hops down from my bed, giving me hope that she legitimately wanted to talk.  I scoot closer to the wall, leaving her room to sit next to me.  I wince - that puts her on my right side; my stump barely an inch from her shoulder.  I don't miss the way her ears droop under her bow when she sees it.

"You're not okay."  Okay, with both of us speaking in barely-sentences, we're probably not gonna make much progress.  "You still blame yourself and I don't know what I can do to convince you that you shouldn't."

"You won't convince me otherwise," she assures me.  "It's all my fault.  Just trust me on that."

I get mad at that.  Can't help it.  Even in this weird numb state I've been in lately, my temper still manages to take over.  "This wasn't your fault, Blake!  How many times do we have to tell you that?"

"How can I not blame myself when I have to see you like this every day?  When I'm constantly reminded that _I_ did this to you?"

I open my mouth but the angry retort dies on my lips.  She makes a good point.  I take a minute to think back on how I've been acting.  How much harder I must've made things on her.  I am an absolute crap partner.  I love her with everything I am.  I loved her when I had two arms and I still do now.  And I've been acting like I don't care about anything - Blake included.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"What?"

I know she heard me.  Faunus hearing and all.  But still, I repeat myself a little louder.  "I'm sorry, Blake."

"Why?"

"For being like this.  For moping around when you're hurting.  My team survived.  I'm gonna have an arm again.  But acting like my dog died or that I won't ever come back from this isn't going to help you.  I can't...I can't promise I can bounce right back to the old Yang.  But I should at least try harder for you.  I should be telling you every single day until you know it's true that this _was not_ your fault.  Blame Adam, blame my stupidity for always charging in headfirst with no thought for the consequences.  But do not blame yourself, Blake."  Great.  I've got tears in my eyes.  Blake's seen me cry enough lately.  "You tried to warn me away and then you saved my life.  I will never, ever blame you for this.  Ever, okay?  You did everything right.  You couldn't have stopped it."

I'm actually short of breath.  Days in the hospital, then even more hardly getting out of bed.  On top of that, saying maybe twenty words a day?  I need to hit the gym.  Go for a walk.  Something.  Maybe I can get Blake to come with me.

I look at my partner's face, waiting for some kind of reaction.  It's not what I expected.  Tears start welling up in her eyes and she flings her arms around me, burying her face in my shoulder.

"It is my fault, Yang.  It really is," Blake mumbles.  I've never heard her sound this sad.  "Adam knew.  As soon as I heard your voice, he saw the look on my face.  He saw it and he knew that I love you.  And that's why he decided to hurt you."

My breath catches in my throat.  I heard her right, right?  But she couldn't.  She couldn't love me.  I'm too loud, too abrasive, too flirty, too...broken.  I don't know.  But she's Blake Belladonna.  What could she possibly see in me?

"What?"  That's all I manage to choke out.

"You got hurt because I love you," she says, leaning back to face me again.

"But.  Why?"  Two words this time.  Progress?

"Because you're amazing, and warm, and so caring.  After you found out about me being a Faunus - ex White Fang, even, you never treated me any differently.  You still took care of me.  And you're so beautiful."

"But..." I trail off and gaze at my stump.

"Doesn't matter.  I still love you, one arm or both.  You're still perfect to me."

"Well."  I swallow thickly, trying to get past the huge lump in my throat.  "Means you're still not to blame.  Can't help who you love."

"I guess not," she murmurs, eyes turning away from me.

"But I'm glad it's you that I fell in love with," I state, voice a bit stronger this time.  Her eyes fly back to mine.  I reach up my one hand - I spare it a quick glance, wishing desperately I had the other one to wrap around her - and wipe her tears away gently.  Then I give her the tiniest kiss, light as a feather.  There'll be time for more when we're both feeling like ourselves again.

"I still blame myself," Blake says quietly.

"That's okay," I reply, my hand coming to rest around the back of her neck.  "I'm more messed up in the head than I can put into words."

"I'll help you get better."

"And I'm gonna remind you every day that this?"  I shrug my arm-less shoulder.  "Isn't your fault.  Until you believe me."

She nods, still looking doubtful.  That's okay.  I don't know how much she can help me.  Doesn't mean I'm not gonna let her try.

We aren't okay.  We're still broken.  Probably will be for a while.  But I'm going to help Blake and she's going to help me - until we've got each others' pieces put back together again.

**Author's Note:**

> Now excuse me while I torture myself more by watching the ep another 15 times x.x. I really should take a break from my other fic, too, and write something happy. Jeez.


End file.
